


Bad Day

by CravingCraze



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Jared is insecure, Jared tries, M/M, Manipulation, bad day, rich has a bad day, rich has a lisp but I don’t write it cause no, the squip is an ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-18 15:54:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21530164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CravingCraze/pseuds/CravingCraze
Summary: “It was a mistake getting rid of me."Oh, it was going to be one of those days. Huh.
Relationships: Christine Canigula & Rich Goranski, Jared Kleinman/Richard Goranski, Rich Goranski & Jared Kleinman, Richard Goranski & Richard Goranski’s squip, Richard Goranski/Jared Kleinman
Comments: 1
Kudos: 33





	Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning- the SQUIP being a manipulative bitch, and mentions of suicide attempt
> 
> This fic was simply for me and me alone. Felt like writing my bois cause they felt neglected

_"It was a mistake getting rid of me."_

Oh, it was going to be one of _those_ days. Huh.

Rich tried to ignore his SQUIP's stupid voice, and focus on his test. It wasn't that easy though, as the SQUIP kept bothering him which the basic " _you made a mistake"_ , which quite frankly was just annoying at this point.

Things were okay, even if it'd only been three months since the incident at _The Play_ , but everything was fine. He was okay, because the SQUIP couldn't control him anymore. It was just in his head. Even if the experience did make him burn down his friend's house, which despite Jake forgiving him for, still left a dent in their friendship.

Everything was fine. He was fine.

When he handed in his test, he didn't exactly feel great about it. Maybe it was because Pre-Calculus was just hard. He tried not to think about it, but that still proved to be difficult.

 _"You're not as smart as you think,"_ his SQUIP would snare inside his mind. _"You're just a failure. That's all you'll ever amount to. A stupid jock who won't amount to anything more."_

It was hard to ignore when he was trying read his book for Junior English, while the teacher stalked around them, making sure people _actually_ read their books and weren't hiding their phones behind it or something. Either way, it was another pile that made his nerves wrack.

"Gorganski!" Rich was pulled off to the side in the hallways by a big jock. "Are you signing up for football? Or are your _'burns'_ still severe."

"I'm not supposed to do any sports for another month," Rich stepped away from him, just wanting to be left alone.

The jock laughed, "But you were fine to do the play?"

"That was before—you know what happened!" Rich whisper-yelled at him. People had just stopped talking about Jake's house, and he wanted to keep it that way.

"Still can't believe you were in a _play_. That's gay as shit, you know that, right?" The jock shook his head, and nudged his side.

 _"You wouldn't have this reputation if you didn't blab your sexuality to the whole school_ ," his SQUIP stated.

It was true, sort of. Rich was excited he learnt he was bisexual, and wanted everyone to know he was loud and proud. Apparently though, people still made gay jokes and how he probably gave blowjobs in the bathroom. People seriously needed to get over themselves. God.

"I was just trying something new," Rich glared at him. "Anyway, tell coach I'll get him a doctor's note soon."

"Whatever, fucking homo," he cackled, turning on his heal to walk out.

Rich shook his head, walking into the lunch room to get a tray of _Mac-and-cheese-but-really-just-melted-cheese-over-noodles_. Afterwards, he went to his table, where his friend group and Jared's friend group sat. They merged, sort of, where as some would talk to others, but liked keeping to themselves.

He took a seat next to Jared, his new _special someone,_ as Brooke described. They'd met through the play, as Jared was apart of tech crew. They talked a few times before The SQUIP tried to take over everyone's minds, but after the play, Jared asked about what happened. Rich was hesitant to tell him at first, but when he did, he showed him the pill he'd taken, and Jared believed him, mainly from a technological point of view. Still, it was nice to be listened to for a change.

Jared obviously must of noticed his bad mood, because he put his hand on top of his. "Hey. Everything okay?"

Rich smiled at him, appreciating the concern. "Bad day," was all he said. It was kind of a code for them. It meant that they weren't ready to talk in that moment, but would later.

Jared nodded, tracing his fingers across his knuckles as he resumed eating the crappy Mac and Cheese the school provided. "Turns our tech crew has to do stuff like band concerts and announcements in the auditorium. All it means is that I'll be a little more busy."

Rich hummed, settling to just listen. He scooted closer to Jared and learn his head on his shoulder, not wanting to eat the so called Mac and Cheese.

Unfortunately for him, the latter seemed to notice, and pressed gently. "Hey, wanna split that?" He gestured to his untouched Mac and Cheese.

It was a fair compromise, Rich supposed, so he smiled and nodded, pushing their trays together and split it up as evenly as he could.

Together, they happily ate, Jared talking about the new type of programs he was learning in his programming class. Rich didn't really get a lot of it, but it was interesting to hear about.

Sometimes, the SQUIP would whisper into his ear, _"He's too good for you. Why would he want to date someone who tried to kill themselves by burning down a house?"_ And by then, it was just irritable. Usually it only stuck around for a little bit, but on rare circumstances, it'd stay almost for a whole day.

So yeah, that was pretty shitty.

After lunch, his social studies teacher decided for them to do presentations on the Middle East and a country of their group's choosing. Rich didn't get a bad group, bit there was definitely a slacker there that'd probably cost them a few points down the line. Thankfully though, his SQUIP didn't make any snarky comments.

This was a similar pattern that occurred throughout the rest of the day. Some comments hurt more than others, but there really wasn't much he could do. Christine had offered him to just try and ignore it, as that was what she did.

It helped, sort of. He appreciated that she tried, though.

When Jared drove him to his house, he didn't press for answers (Rich couldn't drive since the fire incident). He settled to try and distract Rich by humming softly to some pop music on the radio.

 _"You don't deserve him,"_ his SQUIP was relentless. _"He's going to leave you one day, and you'll be alone all over again. It'll be freshman year all over again."_

Rich bit his lip, trying to ignore the adamant voice inside his head. He was _supposed_ to be having a fun time with his boyfriend, not trying to withstand a super computer inside his brain.

_"Why would he stick around?"_

Everything was okay, he'd tell himself. There was no reason to be freaking out.

"Rich?" Jared spoke up. "You um- everything okay?"

Rich easily could've lied, but there wasn't really a point, because at this rate, he'd expose himself either way. So, he shook his head, despite the latter unable to see him due to him driving. "No. It's not okay."

Rich hated how worried Jared looked, he felt like _he_ was causing all of that. "Is it- er..." he tapped his head, knowing not to say the actual name unless Rich did.

He nodded numbly, "Y-yeah... that..."

Jared nodded, taking a hand off of the wheel to put over Rich's. "I'm sorry, Rich..."

"Not your fault," he whispered, just wanting to get out of the car already.

_"You're so pathetic."_

This would stop. It always did.

_"You can't get rid of me."_

Rich was painfully aware of this.

_"Come back to me. I'll make the pain stop."_

It wouldn't stop. The SQUIP would just make things worse.

_"I just want to help you."_

It always did.

_"I promise."_

The second Jared pulled into the driveway, Rich stumbled out of the car. He nearly collapsed, but Jared rushed to his side and threw his arm around him.

"Let's get you inside," Jared muttered, leading him inside the empty house and up into his room.

Upon entry, Jared ushered him to the bed, and laid him in it, before covering him with a few blankets.

"Do you want anything to cuddle with? Pretty sure I have some old stuffed animals..." Jared rubbed the back of his head, watching Rich settle into the covers.

"Just you," Rich gave him a pleading look.

Jared didn't have the heart to argue, and even if he did, he had no reason to, so he just climbed into the bed and let Rich wrap his arms around his waist. Jared circled his around his shoulders and rested his face in his hair, smelling a mix of red hair dye, and strawberry shampoo.

It took a moment for him to realize the other was shaking and practically had a death grip on him. He paused, before starting to rub his back slowly.

_"You're ruining everything."_

"Whatever it's saying, it's not true," he said softly into his ear, before planting a kiss onto his earlobe. "Don't listen to it, listen to _me_."

_"I_ _ care _ _. He doesn't. Why would he?"_

"I love you, Rich. I want you to be happy, and I'm going to do _everything_ I can to."

_"You're just a burden on him."_

"You've helped me so much, Rich. Helped me when depression and insecurities were kicking my ass, so let me help you now. I _want_ to do the same as you've done for me."

_"I'll never leave you. I'll always be apart of you."_

"Things will get better, I _know_ they will, and I wanna be there with you, every step of the way."

They stayed like that for a while, Rich holding onto Jared as he whispered comforts into his ear as he planted a kiss on his earlobe. It took a while, but eventually Rich calmed down, his grip loosening on him slightly.

"Jare.." he shut his eyes.

"Yeah Rich?" Jared messed with his hair to occupy himself.

"Thank you, for sticking around, and dealing with my shit," he whispered.

"You'd do the same for me," Jared kissed his head, prompting the other to lift his head. "You wanna go eat some ice cream to drown your sorrows in?"

Rich flashed a small, steady smile, "You read my mind."


End file.
